« The Dream Zone

Cheating Boyfriend

by Lauri Loewenberg

Dear Lauri,
Since my boyfriend and I started dating over 2 years ago, I constantly have dreams that he's either cheating on me or that he's leaving me for another girl. In one of them he started dating my sister! Awkward. I'm sure he's not cheating or secretly dating my sister in real life so why am I having these dreams all the time? - Kira 28, Wausau

Lauri:  Cheating dreams can be infuriating, worrisome and the cause of many a slap across the face first thing in the morning.  In fact, in a recent survey I conducted on my website www.TheDreamZone.com with over 5000 participants, the cheating dream came in as the #1 most common dream! As upsetting as these dreams can be, the good news is that they rarely indicate that your mate is getting his or her pleasures elsewhere.  They do suggest, however that something rather than someone is taking the time and attention from your mate that you feel you deserve. So what do you think the culprit is? Work? The X Box? Once you can pinpoint what it is your mate is “cheating on you” with, or what you may be guilty of giving too much time to, it’s time to compromise.  Offer to give up or cut back on something your mate isn’t a big fan of if he or she promises to cut back on the activity that is causing you to feel left out. If you both stick to the compromise, you’ll find that the dreams will stop.

Kira replies: That makes perfect sense! It is definitely our jobs. My boyfriend and I work often and our shifts are always changing so we aren't able to spend much time together. I know I feel guilty about working long hours many days in a row and I'm sure he does too. Maybe it’s time for a career change! Thank you, I feel much better!
 

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